The Hated San Antonio Spurs

On Friday night the San Antonio Spurs defeated the Phoenix Suns 114-106 to win the Western Conference Semifinals series 4-2. In so doing, the Spurs

1. Knocked out their toughest remaining challenger and essentially wrapped up the NBA championship.
2. Proved once again that faster, higher scoring, flashier teams are no match for them.
3. Destroyed all hope of the existence of any entertaining basketball until next fall.
4. Officially surpassed the Miami Heat and Los Angeles Lakers as my most hated NBA franchise.
   

The Spurs are now a shoo-in to win their fourth NBA Championship since 1999. The Lakers won three straight championships from 2000 to 2002, but their recent struggles since losing Shaquille O'Neal to the Heat make the Spurs the most dominant basketball team in the world over the last ten years. It's so sad that the Lakers and Spurs have dominated the best years of my basketball-watching life. These are odious teams, short on style, flavor, and charisma. But I can't blame the Spurs - their only goal is to win basketball games, and they clearly do this more effectively than anyone else.

The Spurs' dominance began after they drafted Tim Duncan with the first overall pick in the 1997 NBA draft. Since his NBA career began, Duncan has been the most consistent and, arguably, best, player in the game. Duncan, however, does not get as much adulation as his superstar peers, players like Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, Dwyane Wade, and LeBron James. The main reasons for this are

1. Duncan's game is very mundane. He rarely makes jawdropping or even entertaining plays.
2. Duncan's demeanor rarely changes. Fans like to see emotion and Duncan always looks the same, except when his eyes bug out annoyingly when he protests a foul.
3. Duncan's career has been boringly standard and efficient - he played all four years in college at an ACC school; he got drafted first overall; he's never had a run-in with the law and/or a notable character incident; his teams have won a few championships, but never consecutively (which would garner more attention).

Head coach Gregg Popovich took over the Spurs just months before Duncan was drafted. Timing is just one of many parallels between Duncan and Popovich. Like his greatest student, Popovich is startlingly boring. Just read this wikipedia article on Popovich without drifting off. Also like Duncan, Popovich does not get nearly the credit he deserves. The results say Pop is the best coach in the NBA, but most casual fans would probably be quicker to mention Phil Jackson, Pat Riley, and Larry Brown. Popovich

1. Is abysmal with the media
2. Never does anything to differentiate himself (other than winning games)
3. Doesn't use gimmicks to inspire his team or self-promote

As a result, no one really notices or cares about him, and that's probably how he wants it.

Manu Ginobili is the one Spur who plays with panache, but his game is so irritating that his distinctiveness becomes a source of annoyance rather than respect. Ginobili is one of the biggest targets of boos from fans outside of San Antonio, because

1. His favorite move is to drive wildly into the lane, initiate contact, sprawl his body out and toss the ball towards the hoop, get a whistle and then sink two free throws.
2. He flops more than anyone in the NBA now that Vlade Divac is retired.
3. He has an unsightly bald spot
4. He's Argentine/Italian and radiates disdainful Euroness

Tony Parker is quietly one of the five best point guards in the NBA. Like Ginobili, there are plenty of easy reasons to despise him:

1. He's French
2. He can't shoot worth a damn
3. He's engaged to Eva Longoria

Bruce Bowen is the Spurs most underrated player. Marcus Camby's win of the NBA's defensive player of the year award this season confirms this. Bowen has turned countless offensive dynamos into sand, Steve Nash being the latest victim. Bowen provides nothing on offense except for his staple, infuriating three-balls from the corner. Bowen is a player to respect but also a player to hate, because

1. He plays dirty
2. He makes the game less entertaining
3. He's just not easy to like

Robert Horry, in the twilight of his soon-to-be-seven-championship career, has made more big shots at key moments for the Spurs than their bigger stars. Horry doesn't do much these days other than foul and conduct halftime interviews, but there was a time when he was one of the most feared playoff performers in the NBA. Horry's an immensely likable player, but he has also been the twister of many knives throughout his career. Like his brethren, there are myriad reasons to hate on Horry

1. His career 7.2 ppg average indicates he may be incredibly overrated
2. He has crushed the dreams of many of the NBA's most likable up-and-coming teams, giving championships to boring teams that have already won too many
3. His flagrant foul on Steve Nash in Game 4 of this year's series led to the one-game suspensions of Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw which likely cost the Suns Game 5 and the NBA Championship.

There's just not a lot to be said. The Spurs play great defense, they have enough playmakers on offense to win games, and they have the best big man in the world. There is really only one more thing I can add:

Go Jazz!