Ten Things I Will Not Put In My Match.com Profile
I think I'm going to bite the bullet and sign up for match.com. As Truman puts it, you work online, you pay your bills online, why not meet girls online? I want advice on what to put in there, though I'm sure my friends will gleefully respond with more things I shouldn't bring up. I do know I won't be mentioning any of the following:
10. I’m averaging about 12 hours a week playing “The Settlers of Catan” over the last month.
9. I watch maybe 10-20 hours of television a week, more the last two weeks; the most common programs I watch are basketball and football games, NFL Live, and Survivor.8. I frequently go to movies alone.
7. For months, there was rotten meat in my refrigerator so putrid that friends avoided my house.
6. I don’t wear deodorant or underwear.
5. I’ve played Magic: The Gathering within the last seven months.
4. Seven months ago, I began preliminary work on a Magic: The Gathering movie screenplay.
3. I’d rather talk to you on instant messenger than on the phone; I’d rather you text message me than call me.
2. I’ve had one girlfriend in my life.
1. I believe that 95 to 100% of women are insane.
posted by GnightMoon @ 1:11 AM
12 Comments:
Two pieces of advice: free settlers online at asobrain.com and free matchmaking with plentyoffish.com
Enjoy!
You sound like quite the catch to me, just stick that stuff up there and it'll be fine.
No deodorant? Do you ever sweat?
I think your number 1 is a bit optimistic. I put the exact figure at 98.2% to 99.6%...
Deception is great in the game of poker, but in the game of life you just have to keep it real yo.
"A man's own smell is unknown to him."
It's really tough to sum yourself up in a few paragraphs. I would stick with your philosophies, what you like to do, places you like to eat or hang out and maybe you could mention some of the places you have traveled lately! Just keep it light hearted :) After you meet someone, then you can consider telling them about the underwear.....and maybe never ever about the meat!
11. I have the superpower of imperviousness to smell.
dude, deodorant is a must.
LOL at #10. please post all of these on your profile. i would love to read the reactions u get.
Ok you are receiving advice from someone who's had exactly 0 dates from Match.
Something to keep in mind: Several girls on match told me that guys outnumber girls 4:1 so you'll have to do some work.
Before you write your own profile, read a few. Also consider my top 10 photo rules.
Start with what's important. For you:
Beer
Hiking
Beer
Music
Playing Games
On Match you can only put so much in your profile so consider filling in the other boxes (favorite places, job, etc.).
Girls don't respond to winks.
Just be yourself, man.
And feel free to send me any of the smart hot athletic awesome ones that don't fit your criteria. :)
Moon, I think that if you put your top ten in your profile that you actually will attract the right chick - also, you forgot to put in there that you are the worst driver known to man, that you like to put irons that are plugged in face down on carpet and walk away for long periods of time, and hadn't cleaned out the lint trap in your dryer for three months ;)
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