Tennessee

Take me to another place
Take me to another land
Make me forget all that hurts me
Let me understand your plan

- Arrested Development, "Tennessee"

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Last night was possibly the worst night of my life. It was an emotional torture chamber so comprehensive that by the end of it, the sounds of two of my friends having sex in the bed next to mine while I tried to sleep was neither surprising nor disconcerting.

During the last few weeks, my heart has been broken in unique and painful ways by three of my closest friends. I have doubts if I will ever forgive or be close to any of them again. Since I do not have many close friends and I tend to value them highly, losing three while having my emotional innards torn to shreds has been devastating.
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This morning as we drove out of Lynchburg I rolled the windows down because I was feeling nauseous due to the emotional upheaval, lack of sleep, and innumerable Jack and Coke’s I had experienced the night before at my friend Nick’s wedding reception. I thought I might vomit, but the fresh Tennessee morning air hit me in the face and filled my lungs with health and hope. It has been a rough few weeks and a particularly rough trip but immediately I feel prepared to put the carnage behind me and move towards a surprisingly bright future.

Tomorrow I leave for Vegas, where I hope a rededicated, nothing-to-lose attitude will lead to riches that make me forget all that hurts me.