Sunday, June 10, 2007

Tennessee

Take me to another place
Take me to another land
Make me forget all that hurts me
Let me understand your plan

- Arrested Development, "Tennessee"

___


Last night was possibly the worst night of my life. It was an emotional torture chamber so comprehensive that by the end of it, the sounds of two of my friends having sex in the bed next to mine while I tried to sleep was neither surprising nor disconcerting.

During the last few weeks, my heart has been broken in unique and painful ways by three of my closest friends. I have doubts if I will ever forgive or be close to any of them again. Since I do not have many close friends and I tend to value them highly, losing three while having my emotional innards torn to shreds has been devastating.
___


This morning as we drove out of Lynchburg I rolled the windows down because I was feeling nauseous due to the emotional upheaval, lack of sleep, and innumerable Jack and Coke’s I had experienced the night before at my friend Nick’s wedding reception. I thought I might vomit, but the fresh Tennessee morning air hit me in the face and filled my lungs with health and hope. It has been a rough few weeks and a particularly rough trip but immediately I feel prepared to put the carnage behind me and move towards a surprisingly bright future.

Tomorrow I leave for Vegas, where I hope a rededicated, nothing-to-lose attitude will lead to riches that make me forget all that hurts me.

10 Comments:

Blogger Hoedeman said...

Remember the warm southern sun coming up on Tennessee on the road from St. Paul to Savannah a few springs ago? Nothing but college basketball, frisbee, and the ocean in our future? Now that was the apex of emotional health.

Have some fun in Vegas.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...

Feeling that you have fewer close friends is a damn good reason to come hang out with a few of them in Chicago in August.

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ditto

9:54 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

Ha! Riches doesn't help anything.....trust me -- I spent two years figuring that out!

San Juans in beginning of July is a definite -- give me a call sometime to figure out exact dates and details.

And come visit Reid and me! We're going to be in some tight spots and having a lot of fun!

10:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom - So sorry that some of your friends are not what you thought they would be. Come see us in Tempe after or between your tournaments in Las Vegas. The room is open and the price is right - free. Arizona fats

1:49 PM  
Blogger Spencetron said...

Can I say "ditto" as well? Or is that just unoriginal? Also, I think I could get you at H-O-R-S-E now.

6:26 PM  
Blogger Jaheed said...

Hey man, keep your head up. You are gifted in that you have a knack for picking yourself up again easily. If you are ever in the twin cities or near DC call me.

9:14 PM  
Blogger MandyMandie said...

Am I the only person curious enough to ask who was having sex in the bed next to you?

9:34 PM  
Blogger BBK said...

Tom, I've seen you talk about the hierarchy of needs to think that you know riches aren't the answer. I think you're just looking for success, which in poker roughly is equal to riches. Honestly, I think you're one of the most well-adjusted people I know in terms of your priorities so I'm not too worried. You'll get what you're looking for and be self-actualizing with the best of them before long. Good luck at your final table today.

6:42 PM  
Blogger GnightMoon said...

Agreed, BBK - poker success = money and I do want the success more than the money.

8:30 PM  

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