Ups and Downs

It's been a frustrating year. As the year began I wrote

2006 is going to be a monster year for me and my career...In 2006 I expect to break through to the elite ranks of the top tournament professionals. I outlined a goal to make $20k in the first couple weeks of the year, and honestly I thought it would be no problem. A month and a half later "Mission 20k" has yet to be completed.

Before this year I'd gone through a protracted slump just once in my life, last summer at the WSOP. A month and a half ago I was shocked if I ever finished a session with a loss. I paid $15,000 out of my pocket to play in a tournament at the Bellagio. That seems so ridiclous to me now. I fully expected to have the bankroll to play every 10k event of the year, and thought I'd be in California right now. Things haven't worked out and it now looks like the next 10k event I'll play might not be until the WSOP main event at the end of July.

It's been humbling. I put GnightMoon #4 in the infamous list of 2k regulars I made a couple months ago. Now I'd put myself around 40th. I used to think I was the best player I knew. Now I wouldn't put myself in the top 5.

But I'm getting better. I've reevaluated all my play. I've swallowed my pride and adapted my game to certain tables and players. I no longer get into pissing contests with the wrong players. I'm much better now at avoiding ugly spots as well as changing the speed of my game. I think I'm learning how to handle rough periods. I'm better at playing against good players. I think I'm probably not as good a player as I was two months ago - because of lowered confidence - but I have a higher ceiling now. In a month or two I might be better than ever.

Here is a partial list of my year to date results so far in 2006:

+6280
-1993 after a 5k loss
+13783 after a 15k+ win
+14977
+6317 after an 8k loss
+10074
-25 after losing 10k in two days
+7014 after an 8k win
+8880
-3400 after two tournaments in Tunica
-8723 after a 5k loss
+3269 after four straight wins
-7192 after losing 10k in one day
-10764
+6031 after four straight wins, two of 6.5k
-3549 after the unluckiest two hours of my career
+10212 after three straight wins including a 10k win
+12379
+2568 after another 10k loss

A 15k win, a 10k win, an 8k win, and two 6.5k wins, mitigated by two 5k losses, an 8k loss, and FOUR 10k losses (five if you include the WPT event in Tunica). Before 2006 I'd never lost 10k in a session before.

Every time I feel like I am about to turn the corner, I've taken a big loss and fallen back down. Several times this year I've felt I was about to go on a tear and run up a stake to go back on the circuit. Every time the floor has fallen through shortly after and I've gone back to the drawing board.

Well, here I am again.

___

Today: +8974

Year to date: +11542