Free Bird

The trip home from San Jose to Boulder was excellent. On the flight to Vegas we flew right over the Sierra Madre and I got to examine some monstrous peaks without endangering the lives of any passengers. After the plane landed, I drove home. The highlight was driving through St. George, Utah, listening to "Free Bird" on the radio. The quantity of travel in this business allows for plentiful - perhaps too much, even - introspection. During the drive home, I came to a stunning realization:

I am (arguably) the worst player on the professional poker tournament circuit.

I follow the results of major poker tournaments as closely as anyone. I know who is a regular on the circuit because I myself am a regular, so I see who frequents the tournaments. I tried to think of players who I see at all the stops who have won less money in tournaments than I have. The only players I could think of with results as poor as mine were Clonie Gowen and Evelyn Ng.

I'm not saying I'm the worst poker player on the planet or anything - what I am saying is that of the "pros" consistently travelling the tournament circuit, I have done the least. It's depressing, of course. I'm an extremely competitive person - I think almost all top poker pros are - so it hurts to be the worst. But

Man, it's a hell of a job. Even if I am the worst. Outside of tennis or golf pro, fiction writer, movie director, and microbrewery owner, there is no job I'd rather be doing. And the only one that would be acceptable to be the worst at is the one I currently occupy.

In 2007, I have played 12 live tournaments - five main events with buyins between $8k and $10k, two $5k WSOP Circuit main events, and five smaller tournaments with buyins between $500 and $3000. I made one cash, along with MasterJ in the teams event, for a couple grand. All told I am already down over $60k in tournaments this year. I also went through perhaps the worst run of cards I've ever had playing online, a run so dark I started questioning the security of the site I was playing on and eventually quit because of psychological defeat.

And yet, I am still in the black for 2007.

Currently, my game of choice is the $10-$20 6-max on Pokerstars. It is not a good game. I think it is significantly tougher than the $25-$50 I used to play on Party, and certainly much harder than the $10-$20 6-max on Party. Often the tables are 100% pros. Today I was playing with WPT Atlantis winner Ryan Daut, Toph, and three brutal regulars. I'm not sure who was the weak link, but I thought it might be Daut and everyone else probably thought it was me.

I'm playing the wildest poker of my life. It's a ridiculously aggressive lineup, but I think I'm the wildest regular in that game. It's hard to believe considering my nutpeddling background and weak-tight tournament history. Maybe I am taking out the pent-up aggression of three months of folding in live tournaments out on these games. It's impossible not to make mistakes when you play as crazily as I have been playing, but I am hopeful that

• My opponents will make more/bigger mistakes in response


• Logging hours of super-LAG 6-max play will make me a more fearsome tourney player

I sort of think I have been running poorly, but it's hard to tell because of how wild I've been playing. It's often difficult to tell whether you're being outplayed or outflopped, or whether you're outplaying people or they are missing flops. I do think I'm a bit behind schedule with my big pairs and races.

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My buddy Alex won the Ultimate Poker Challenge $10k main event last weekend at a tough final table including Vanessa Rousso, Joe Tehan, Hasan Habib, and Shannon Shorr. It's not exactly news anymore when Al makes a score, but he likes it when I give him props and put his picture in my blog, so I will.

I have no plans to attend a tournament before the Five Star at Bellagio in April, but I tend to get restless after being home for more than a week. I might get the itch and head to Indiana for the $5k there at the beginning of next month. It has also occurred to me to entirely avoid the bloodsucking tournament trail and rest up for the WSOP, which is now less than seventy days away. It will depend on bankroll and disposition, which are currently as unpredictable as the flight of a wandering bird.